For mothers day I wanted to show my appreciate for a woman who is being a Mother to many children, Camila Batmanghelidjh whom I recently stumbled upon when I was looking for organisations who are supporting children in the UK, giving respite to children in difficult family situations.
I found a charity started by a woman with a huge amount of insight, intelligence, love and perseverance. If you are interested in watching the video that I saw I have included it here. It’s long but so worth the watch as I gained a deeper understanding of our current society at the same time.
I know to some the following will be seen as a negative subject to talk about, but my aim is to spread awareness and compassion for others. We all judge people by their actions and sometimes its worth looking past their actions to see what path they had to walk down first, to become that person. This is also helpful when trying to move past situations, forgiving others and moving on up!
In essence Camilla talks about the masses of children in the UK who are being abused, physically, sexually, mentally, deprived of food, love and in horrific situations. Most of which we, society are unaware of and unable to help. These children are suffering and frightened; internalising their pain, learning how to survive in these circumstances. The ones we hear about, die, the ones we don’t hear about learn to cope. But coping may mean suppression and as they grow bigger, taller and stronger, they become teenagers and they develop the strength they once lacked when they were too small to defend themselves, too small to run away, too small to fight back.
Now that they can stand up for themselves they feel the need to protect and defend themselves in a way they can understand. Which can often lead to dangerous and deadly situations. In the video Camilla interviewed young offenders and found that all of them had suffered serious abuse as a child.
Often at risk children have no support or respite from abusive situations and are not guided to process and work through their abuse so that they can integrate back into society – which pushes them further away and more towards the other end of the spectrum.
Camilla explained the research and testing which proves that our brain preserves experiences in a very visual and real way when in a fight or flight mode and these memories get pushed back into our brains as the adrenaline which is triggered to help them get out of a situation (run away or fight) has no where to go as they cannot get out of the situation or defend themselves as they are too small, so the brain takes it and pushes it back. Unfortunately this means that in the future these memories can be triggered by everyday normal “safe” life and in a moment their world can come tumbling down, switching back into the original scenario making the current and safe situation appear just as deadly and dangerous as in the initial abuse. Which can be dangerous for the rest of society as you may unknowingly trigger a memory and be the recipient of the backlash.
I don’t think as a society we understand the damage that has been done to our children and the prevalence of some of the issues causing the damage. A HUGE well done to Camila… what an inspiration you are and I’ll be looking to see how I can get involved and I hope that we as a society start looking after “all” our children so that we can have a better future.
All my love